When the Student is Ready
by James Callner, MA, AFOCD President. James Callner is an award winning writer, filmmaker and speaker on mental illness. Excerpt from James Callner’s up coming book on OCD: “It’s a Matter of Trust – Spiritual Prescriptions for OCD”. (Note: Use of the word...LIKE our FB Page
Dear Anxiety,
You’ve been around my life for more than half of my life, and I’ve decided to finally take some real action to get you under control. Most of my friends with anxiety might not understand this action, but knowing myself—and knowing you—I believe this will be the most effective way to deal with your continual presence: I’ve decided to stop fighting you.
Now, that doesn’t mean I’m surrendering to you either. The options of either “fight” or “surrender” are too black and white for me and too similar to your own tactics. I’m taking an approach that might throw you. After all, this is my life, not yours. So, I’m going to work with you. Not “for” or “against” but “with.”
When you do your thing to my adrenaline, I’m not going to freak out. I’m going to calm down with soothing self-talk, meditation, slow breathing, and/or medication as directed by my doctor.
When you tell me that my life is a disaster, I’m not buying that thought. I will use mindfulness to stay present and grounded.
When you make me sweat with fear, I’m going to connect with others who feel that same anxiety and humbly ask for help.
When all else fails and nothing seems to work, I’m going to just feel the feelings of you because you have finite energy and you will wear out before I do.
So, I’m going to stop complaining about you and start handling you differently. And that’s a non-negotiable fact.
JC
1 week ago
Law of Attraction in Action
How many times in my life have I said the words, “I hate OCD”? In over 38 years of living with OCD, it’s probably reached into the thousands. We all have these thoughts from time to time. How could we not come to hate OCD?
But here’s the catch: It does no good to “hate” because OCD matches your negative emotions and feeds off of them. If I keep ranting or banging the drum of how much I hate it, what do I get? I only amplify my thoughts and emotions of hatred for OCD.
On the other hand, when I work toward accepting and doing something about my struggles with OCD, even in the smallest way, I start to recover with hope. Hope beats out hate. Always.
So, I have to catch myself when I want to hate and instead remember to take action on what I do want. Hope begets hope, acceptance begets acceptance, and any small step I take forward begets bigger steps. It’s called the Law of Attraction in Action. ( Did you know that Jellyfish have no brains? Yet, they somehow understand to move toward the light.) JC <3
1 week ago
Having It All and Still Feeling Horrible
As most of your know, my wife Jeanine and I live on the Monterey Bay, and we take walks by the ocean every day. It’s a beautiful place to live.
I was talking to a friend who also has OCD, and we chatted about the big question: “How can we live in such a beautiful place, have pretty much everything we need, and still feel so horrible?”
Well, the trap right there is equating the place with how you should feel! I found out the hard way, like most of you, that healing is an inside job. Don’t get me wrong, I love where we live and what we have, but feeling good is fundamentally about a shift in attitude, calming the mind through practice, breathing slowly, appreciating everything, and—most importantly, no matter where you live—staying present. JC <3
2 weeks ago
Exactly👍 It truly goes to show that happiness definitely comes from within, no matter our financial situation.